


Luckily Alive

by asphaltlies



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Humanstuck, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-13 00:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4500552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asphaltlies/pseuds/asphaltlies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxy can't handle living anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Luckily Alive

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fanfic, sorry if it sucks

Roxy had been standing on the bridge for ten minutes now, a strange combination of fear and anxiety brewing in her mind. The skyline of the city in the distance reflected off of her eyes, the sound of the river beneath her filling her ears. Her phone buzzed several times in her pocket, and she pulled it out to glance at it. Callie's frantic messages filled her notifications.  


"where are yoU?"  


"roxy?"  


“are yoU okay?”  


“answer me! please just answer me.”  


Unlocking her phone, she typed back.  


"im fine just out for a lil walk"  


Callie replied quickly:

"i know yoU're not 'just out for a lil walk'. where are yoU?"  
Her chest was tight as she set the phone down on the ledge. She couldn't become distracted. Not now, when she was so close to finally removing herself from the lives of so many who she just knew must hate her.  


They must hate how fake she was, how distracted by stress she always was. Balancing college with taking care of her younger sister, work, and feeding her alcohol addiction was more difficult than anyone knew, and she couldn’t stand it anymore. Roxy Lalonde was a failure. Callie tried to comfort her, she always tried her best, but it barely helped. She felt hated by everyone, even when they insisted they loved her. She gripped the short stone barrier on the side of the bridge, quiet tears falling onto it. The warm, midnight wind picked up a bit, as if to dry her eyes. The pink scarf draped around Roxy’s shoulders gently fluttered, the pink streak in her hair softly moving with it. Her phone noiselessly went dark. She knew she had to do something. Either go back to her tiny apartment filled with shame, with everyone knowing what she’d been planning to do because of Callie, or jump into the rushing river below her feet. Roxy knew what she had to do.  


_Get it over with._ She placed one foot onto the barrier, then the other. A single streetlight illuminated the scene, a tall girl in pink and white standing wobbly on the edge of a bridge, her scarf blowing in the wind. She looked down, fear clenching her lungs shut, speeding her heartbeat far past normal. _This is it._ She wanted to prepare herself though. She didn’t feel quite ready. She wanted to slow her rapid breathing down so she could fill her lungs with freezing cold water easily. Taking slow, deep breaths through her nose, she lowered herself into a crouch. Her phone beside her buzzed, the screen lighting up. Roxy couldn’t look at it. She lowered her face to her knees, almost throwing herself off balance. Her breaths became shaky, more tears streaming down her face. It was probably messing up her makeup, but she didn’t care. You don’t need to look nice for a suicide.  


From her left, she heard a car. Headlights shone on her face. She stood up, surprised. _You have to jump now!_ She looked at the river, then back to the car. The passenger door flew open, and Callie jumped out. It was only then that Roxy realized it was Jane’s car, a blue Volkswagen Beetle. The short, dark skinned girl ran towards Roxy, her own face covered in tears.  


“Roxy!”

She called to her girlfriend on the ledge. She stood below her now, eyes wide with worry.  


“Please come down.” Callie said in a soft voice.  


“Please.” Roxy looked into her soft, dark green eyes for moments that seemed like hours. She couldn’t just end her life in front of her girlfriend. Wouldn’t that be cruel of her? Finally, she nodded and crouched down again, this time away from the river. She passed the pink phone lying next to her to Callie. She slipped it into her own pocket, then helped her down from the ledge, pulling her into a tight embrace.  


“You’re safe.” Callie whispered into white fabric. Her face was buried into Roxy’s shoulder, the cotton of her shirt drying her tears. Roxy hugged her back gently, feeling something crucial inside of her breaking. She felt weak, shameful. All she did was hurt the people she loved. She brushed her fingers over her girlfriend’s dark, shaved head. Would she forgive Roxy for being so stupid and selfish? Or would she be unable to handle the week or two of self pity to come and leave her? The thought made her shudder in Callie’s arms. Callie finally let go but tenderly grabbed her face instead.  


“I-I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Callie.” Roxy whimpered.  


“No, no. Don’t apologize. It’s okay. Let’s just go home.” She replied, wiping warm tears from the taller girl’s face. She led her back to the waiting car, where Jane sat quietly in the driver’s seat. There were no sounds from her as Callie and Roxy sat in the backseat. Instead of buckling up, Roxy laid her head in Callie’s lap, suddenly too tired to think or move or feel. As the car drove away from the bridge, Callie stroked her bleached blonde hair as she fell asleep. When she started to snore, Jane asked, “Is she alright?”  
Callie didn’t look up.  


“I hope so.”


End file.
